Withdrawal is hard. I feel like I say this too often about too many things, but it’s so true. Kicking caffeine is a headache (no joke). Purging my sweet tooth is an arduous and slippery path. Saying good-bye to t.v. shows that I have come to love over the multi-season knitting marathons is bittersweet. Today, I’m dealing with the weekend gaming shakes. John and I bought Fable III this weekend and waiting until next weekend to pick it up is making me a little crazy.

I don’t know why I game. I don’t do it often, and that I can explain: I have something of an addictive personality. Once I have the controller in my hand, it will take an epic battle of will to hand the controller over to someone else or better yet, turn the console off and walk away. I just…can’t….let…go. There’s always one more side quest that will, I swear just take a few minutes. And will it really hurt if I stop to woo a villager here or make a few more gold coins playing the lute there?

It wouldn’t, I suppose, if I happened to look up an notice the time five minutes later, rather than five hours.

The crazy thing is that I don’t get video games, not at all. When I step back and ask myself why I take such pleasure in running around shooting magic gnomes with a steampunk pistol, I can’t come up with a single decent explanation. I can think over several reasons not to game. (1) I am extremely prone to motion sickness, which means that some video games put me on the edge of a migraine in minutes, some in hours. All of them get to me eventually. (2) I’m not at all sure how I feel about the freedom to act violently and without conscience in gaming worlds. I mean, I love a good melee with mercenaries as much as the next gamer, but not without being a bit disturbed. (3) I HAVE SO MANY MORE THINGS I COULD BE ACCOMPLISHING!!! Practicing my guitar, cleaning my house, working on my novel, reading a book, knitting for charity–just to name a few. I can’t even justify it the way I do watching t.v., because I can’t multitask with a controller in hand.

Wait… Right there, that’s it! Gaming is quite possibly the only task in life I have no problem approaching with complete single-mindedness. Juggling the demands of a game requires me to drop every single ball I deal with in reality. Is that a form of rest or meditation? No, I suppose calling it meditation would be taking it too far, but in spite of the fact that gaming leaves me worn out and bleary-eyed, I think it might  be rest, of a sort, for my overactive brain. We all need rest from time to time, right?

All the same, I think I’ll be turning off my computer now to avoid the temptation of looking up guides for finding those accursed gnomes…

2 thoughts on “Withdrawal

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