I can’t do it. The diet, I mean. Or rather, I can do it, I have been doing it, and it’s been radically successful so far, but…it’s killing me. No, not literally. I’m not lying on my deathbed mysteriously whispering the names of odd flowers. I’m just utterly sick to death of vegetables. You can spice them and dice them and dress them up in various diet-compatible condiments, but they’re still vegetables and they’re still not cake. Eating well has, however, persuaded me that indulging in sweets the way I had been up until recently is just not a good idea.
I have decided, therefore, that once I make it through the second cycle of this diet (which starts tomorrow, yay!), I am going to skip ahead to my in-laws’ wise dieting plan of eating well during the work week and letting myself cheat a bit on the weekends. The problem I have historically run into is that once I start baking, I end up with a cake or a pie or three dozen cookies that I then end up eating in quick succession. You know, before they start turning green and fuzzy, like this:
When I pulled this picture out, John’s response was: “You actually kept those photos?” I did. It’s a funny story, and a long one. To shorten it: we were newlyweds. I got overexcited about picking apples, lots and lots of them. I thought our stove was broken, so I winged a recipe on steaming apple dumplings. Batch #1 was heavenly. Batch #2 ruined my brand new pan and produced these tough monstrosities which we couldn’t bear to throw away…until they had molded and provided entertainment in the form of a photo shoot.
Anyway, in order to avoid both binge eating of baked goods and moldy piles of ick while allowing myself the occasional weekend indulgence, I have decided to embark on two new kitchen experiments (in about two and a half weeks, that is).
Experiment #1: Freezing Hand-Pies
Hand-pies seem to be coming back into fashion, and I think I know why. Not only can you bake up a delicious bit of fresh, hot pie whenever you feel like it, you can do it without ending up with 7/8ths of a pie begging you to eat it. Moreover, according to these people, freezing hand pies actually makes them better. That means you can whip up a batch, set them up in the freezer, and when you’re ready to bake them, they will end up being at their best. Works for me. I bought rhubarb on Monday to freeze it, just to make sure I don’t miss rhubarb season like I did last year.
Experiment #2: Freezing Cookie Dough
I don’t know if freezing cookie dough improves the cookie. It might, actually, if you don’t like your cookies to spread too much, but that’s only my guess at how nice, cold dough will react. The diet principal is the same as with the pie: mix all together, eat at responsibly paced intervals. I’ve been scratching my head trying to think of the best way to break up the dough. Obviously you accomplish nothing by freezing the thing as one batch, but who wants a half-dozen containers of the same thing eating up valuable freezer space that could be used for hand-pies? I love, love, love this idea: freeze the cookies as individual balls, then toss them in the same bag. Brilliant.
Hopefully these little experiments will be enough to set me on the path to avoiding unsightly kitchen mold and unnecessary waistline gains. We shall see.