Workshop my pitch? Pretty please?

Hello, friends! I’ve already dumped my manuscript on some of you with pleas for help. If I haven’t and you feel the least inclination of critiquing my drafty book in the next week or so, please let me know. I will accept your help in a heartbeat or less. If, however, commenting on 60,000 words of jagged prose is just too much, but you would be happy to give me a small hand up in my journey to eventually being published… will you read the draft of my pitch and help me fine-tune it before January 24th? Pretty please with cherries on top?

Pretend you’re an agent reading this pitch. Your market is young adult fantasy. Would you buy my book? If not, is there anything in particular that turns you off? Or pretend you’re a teenager reading the first paragraph…would you spend your hard-earned babysitting money on this bit of drivel? With the same criteria in mind, what about the title? My initial working title was “Come Away,” from the Yeats poem. Now I’m calling it “The Realms,” but that’s a better name for the series I envision it turning into. Any and all title recommendations will be greatly appreciated!

Thank you, my friends, for helping me on the road to publication! Here’s the draft of my pitch:

Niamh Brennan is a thoroughly average teenager. Her mother, her camera, and every teacher she’s ever had wouldn’t lie. Far from average, however, is her random ability to dematerialize cars, melt pudding cups, levitate popcorn, and see people who seem not to exist…among other things. When Niamh’s younger sister disappears not only from school, but from the memory of everyone who ever met her, Niamh embarks on a quest to rescue her sister and learn the meaning behind her own strange abilities with the help of her best friend, Lance. The journey takes them to the realms of sidhe, where Niamh discovers that she is a changeling and very possibly heir to the sidhe throne.

“The Realms” brings in elements of biology and quantum mechanics to imagine a world parallel to earth where high fantasy thrives and presents this world through the eyes of a strong, snarky female lead. Although written with a self-sufficient plot, the world and characters of this first-person urban fantasy offer many opportunities for sequels from the perspective of a number of adolescent characters.

While earning my Ed.M. at Harvard for language and literacy, I realized that my love of fantasy and science fiction could be used with my other passion: helping kids succeed.  “The Realms” is written in the hopes of providing even reluctant young adult readers with an exciting world to dive into, characters they can love and relate to, and a wealth of exposures to words, words, and more wonderful words.

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