John and I got into one of our conversations this weekend. You know, one of the ones that ends up with hamsters and apocalypses, or hordes of tiny zombies. This time, the question that came up was a spin off the old one: what would happen if a pirate and a ninja fell in love?
The obvious solution to the question is Romeo and Juliet, right? Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Internet, where we lay our scene…
Pirate Abraham: “Did you hear someone bite his thumb at me?”
Ninja Sampson: …*Sneak Attack*
As the internet goes, the question of who would win in a fight between ninjas and pirates qualifies as an ancient grudge. Could a romance be tolerated between their young offspring?
Pirate Romeo: “But soft, what shadow through yonder window breaks?”
Ninja Juliet: …
The thing is, I have to come down on the side of ninjas when it comes to brains, and I suspect that a Juliet raised by ninjas would be a bit less impulsive than Juliet Capulet. Pirate Romeo might, indeed, end up dead by his own hand. I think Juliet would have the strength of spirit to live, probably giving birth to the child of their secret marriage.
The irony is that if a pirate and ninja had a love-child, it would be bound to have a knack for sneakiness and a love of enjoying things that are theirs more by right of conquest than right of law. Who could be the more obvious mental offspring of pirates and ninjas than the very denizens of the internet who so debate the higher valor of their parents’ clans?
Ninjas, Pirates, See, what a scourge is laid upon your hate, that heaven finds means to kill your joys with love!